Love and Money; Can Women Have Both?

5595363_sCan we separate love and money?

I was having lunch with a friend at a park last week. As we were standing there talking a guy on a rather large industrial lawn mower pulled up and asked my friend for a cigarette – really he just wanted to talk to us. I could tell right away that he was a municipal worker so I asked about his profession.

“Yes,” he said. Then continued that he prefers not to let people know, especially women, preferring to tell them that he works at McDonald’s or something like that. His dilemma-telling them he’s got a stable government job and suddenly he can’t figure out if they like him for him or for his stable job.

“Oh” I said, “do you also drive a crappy car just to drive the point?”

He responded that he wished he did!


There is one big, fat confusing mixed message going on with men, women, love, and money. Surprise surprise, that conflict is being reflected in the planets!

Just like this guy, men are saying that they want an independent woman – one who will pay their own way and not expect that security from him. Women are saying they want independence and to pay their own way.

Go deeper and the truth is men are having trouble with the loss of power that comes with not being in charge financially. They are being challenged to get comfortable with the loss of patriarchal power. Go deeper with women and do they really mean it? Women are being challenged to getting comfortable with the power of feminine self sufficiency and not in a patriarchal “ball-busting” way…

For both the challenge is to still depend on one another, still need one another, and still submit to one another in ways that are deeper and more authentic way than every before.

With Pluto moving through Capricorn, old patriarchal structures are fading in real and concrete ways. And we want it to happen but…

Cardinal CrossThat Grand Cross I’ve discussed in my monthly horoscopes is pushing things along. Capricorn is in a natural opposition to Cancer and a natural square to Libra and Aries, creating the Grand Cross.

Capricorn is ruled by Saturn, so all things Capricorn are experiencing a transformation, which is Pluto’s job. Here is Wikipedia’s definition of Saturn: Astrologically, Saturn is associated with the principles of limitation, restrictions, boundaries, practicality, and reality, crystallizing, and structures. Saturn governs ambition, career, authority and hierarchy, and conforming social structures. It concerns a person’s sense of duty, discipline and responsibility, and their physical and emotional endurance during hardships. Saturn is also considered to represent the part of a person concerned with long-term planning.

Opposite Capricorn on that cross is Cancer which is ruled by the moon (emotions). Squaring Capricorn is Aries ruled by Mars (our independence and force) and squaring Capricorn on the other side is Libra which is ruled by Venus (relationships and money). These are the issues that are putting pressure on all things Capricorn …. emotions, our independence, relationships, and money are pushing back on authority, success, achievement , conforming structures, etc.

One of the key’s to achievement, success, and authority is power/money. Power and money are intricately tied together and they have traditionally been held in the hands of men, but now Pluto moves through this sign. It’s been doing so since 2008 and will complete its transit into Capricorn by 2023, authority, hierarchy,and conforming social structures are being turned on their heads.

As the rug is being pulled from beneath us, the ones catching their balance the fastest are women. It’s hard for everyone, but the truth is women didn’t have far to fall… They didn’t have the power. They have been dying to exert their independence (Mars), to have sustainable careers and they have quickly figured out how to do this while embracing emotions. But the hardest part may just be the integration of all of this with love and money – at least for me.

Each of us has our own version of challenge in this and here is mine: As Pluto moves through Capricorn, it makes a square to my 7th house Venus in Libra. Traditionally this has been a transit filled with jealousy, a need to cling, or an unwillingness to allow others to be themselves. Because this is in the 7th house, this may come from outside of myself (someone not allowing me to be myself) – but it doesn’t matter if it’s me or another. Whatever happens, especially when Libra or the seventh house is concerned, is always just a reflection or a projection of our own unconscious stuff.

And the key to difficult transits like this is to make them conscious. You don’t need to know your astrology to know that something is happening and to make it conscious. But it does help to have that confirmation. If you are experiencing a difficult time, I can definitely look at your chart to see what’s happening and that can allow you quicker access to what’s going on and to make conscious decisions.

What is so fascinating about this is that as I make my own experience conscious, as I do this work on a personal level, something also happens at social level… That’s because this conflict is also happening in the Grand Cross.

Remember I said that Venus rules love and money? Although Pluto squares my Venus, I’ve decide consciously to work on money rather than love. The reason is because I really don’t have control of another and I wanted to stay away from the jealousy, control, etc., traditionally associated with this transit. And because Venus is about money, I decide to take the Lucky Bitch Money Bootcamp . Let me first say, its an amazing online course for taking a good hard look at your money issues and for attracting money into your life. It’s a course put together by Denise Duffield-Thomas and I am so impressed that I have become an affiliate (Yep, the links are affiliate links).

So this is what has happened so far… The first lesson in the bootcamp had me exploring my history with money and damned if it wasn’t intimately tied with relationships. Ten years ago,the first time I went into to business, I gave up because I felt that I couldn’t have love AND money. This was/is a massive money block for me! Back then it completely paralyzed me. At the time I decided to get advice from my church’s pastor. He told me to let go of the business and focus on pursuing marriage and children. I don’t blame him, he just reflected back to me my own conflict. My family had adopted those largely sociological values that the man worked, held the financial power, and the woman stayed at home – and why should I diverge? Yet I was never comfortable with it and did not get married or have children. But I did get a job and let my desire to step out into business and to become fully expressed (Aries), die believing that this was the only way I would attract a man.

Life gave me a second chance. And just over one year of, those beliefs are rearing their ugly head again. With Pluto squaring my Venus, it’s decision time.

Like I said, it’s not just me. This is happening on a Sociological level as well. Pluto’s transit in Capricorn immediately turned the business world upside down. Markets took a turn, real estate plummeted, and while everyone was falling and continues to fall from the rug being pulled from underneath us, those quick to their feet were women like Denise Duffield-Thomas. And they went into business embracing a different way to do business. Embracing the ethical, the emotional, the spiritual, then finding balance between relationships and love (This woman just gave birth and is running a thriving business!!!)…. Also, check out my post on the rise of the entrepreneurial woman.

There is a whole other group that I started this post with who are faced with this challenge… men. There are not a lot of men in the lucky bitch boot camp. That’s because they are already comfortable with attracting money for the most part . Their challenge is the heart stuff. I think someone needs to come up with an emotional bootcamp for men… or something to help them get comfortable with their hearts and emotions.

But sticking to us women, everyone has their own version of money blocks or issues. With Venus in Libra, mine have to do with relationships and love… but yours might have to do with thinking you are not worthy enough of success (planetary challenges to Venus in Capricorn) or that money is bad (planetary challenges to Venus in Pisces) etc. If you haven’t already signed up to my newsletter, you can get a free report. It has a little bit in there on your Venus and your own version of attraction/blocks to attraction.

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